Monday, December 8, 2008

Amy Strain

I have three main fears. They all stem from an experience I had when before we moved to our new house. Our attic was horribly creepy and my brother and I would always sleep in the same room in the same bed with the light on. One night I just could not sleep and I began to hear a rhythmic knocking noise coming from my room. It was dark in there and the door was open and after awhile a ghost appeared and walked past my bed. Ever since I am very uncomfortable if a door is left open in the room I'm in, if it has a door. I'm also afraid of the dark and my fear of rhythmic knocking noises at night has turned into a fear of any kind of knocking sound I wake up hearing or hear when I'm in bed. I also become afraid at times when I can't sleep for too long that, depending on the night, a ghost/a terrorist/jack the ripper/a random other serial killer that is dead or behind bars/ aliens/ a robber/ an insane person/ one of my ex boyfriends or someone I've slighted in some way will come through my window and try to kill me or abduct me. I live in the country and my dog freaks out at nothing all the time so this does not help. Also, no one will hear me scream, especially if they've gotten my relatives first. This fear also carries with me if I have to leave my bedroom that something is hiding in my house, under my bed or behind the kitchen counter perhaps, so if I leave my room I have to turn lights on, though I still run accross my floor quickly for fear of whatever is under the bed, and occasionally have to lock all the doors and windows and have a sword with me. My boyfriend sleep walks very rarely, and though he's never hurt me, I'm afraid that he will begin sleepwalking and try to kill me somehow. I am also afraid of snakes or spiders coming out of or hiding behind my toilet. It's not so bad anymore but I used to have to check everytime I went to the bathroom.

6 comments:

Ryan said...

You freaked the hell out of me(23:57pm home alone) and now im looking frantically around between every other word

Ryan said...

In fact I could of written this article (substitute sword for large stick)

Karen said...

hahaha that was me last night!

Gssx said...

I always jump on my bed from a distance at night if i have to go to the toilet in case there is anything under there. i also sometimes fear there is a snake in the toilet, as i once seen in the news that someone found a snake coming out fromt he pipes ina block of flats that escaped from another flat.. sorry if this didn't help with your fear:) im sure there are no snakes inthe countryside though, no pet ones anyway. actually i have no idea where snakes are. hmm im not helping..

AboudTal said...

I do that bed thing too WHY ARE WE SO SCARED OF THESE CRAZY UNREALISTIC THINGS!!
The more you think about you'll realize that this fear is actually quite the blessing. The fact that we show fear to these things tells you that we live in a safe place where we created our own "monster" due to the lack of one.
Think about it, back in '44 do you think the polish and French were scared of dracula or vampires or something under the bed? No, because the true fear (the only fear we should really be scared of) was waiting out there for them on the European front.
I hope this helps, I always get new silly obsessions about thi gs like this be it a monster in the shower, the antagonist from a horror movie, or just that bloody hand waiting to grab me the moment before I step into my bed, but I always remind myself that I'm smart, I'm rational, nothing is going to hurt me and I WILL wake up the next morning in one peice.

Danielle Beatty said...

My gosh everything you said there describes me too, my fears are just the same and seem to be getting worse I have 2 small children and they pick on things Soo easily so I try to be brave for them I'm trying counselling as it can't go on like this, I hope you get help dealing with your fears too as it really is awful to live with x