Monday, December 8, 2008
I'm afraid of rainbows. The larger and more vibrant they are, themore horrible in my opinion. Sometimes I scream when a rainbowcatches me off-guard, and once I know a rainbow is present, it is notenough simply to close my eyes. If I close my eyes, I cannot see therainbow... but it can see me. I know for a fact that rainbows causeno harm (I'm not stupid!) but when I know there is a rainbow on theloose, I must reluctantly keep tabs on it until I'm sure it's gone.(Like if a wasp flies into your room; you wouldn't turn your back onit, would you?) I don't like rainbows sneaking up on me, which alsomade it difficult to play in the sprinkler on a sunny day as a child.Even as a young teenager, I used to close my eyes in the shower forfear that light would strike the spray of water just right to create arainbow near me. A rainbow itself cannot hurt me, but my sudden panicmight cause me to slip in the tub. (I no longer shower with my eyesclosed because I grew up and realised that my household light bulbsdid not emit full-spectrum light. Though I am wary about visitingwaterfalls on sunny days.)In case you're wondering, I do in fact have nightmares about rainbows.I get goosebumps recalling details of these nightmares, but the basicpremise of most of my rainbow nightmares is that there is a rainbowwherever I turn. The scariest thing I've ever seen (for real, not adream) was a very rare and elaborate sun halo that most people wouldpay handsomely to witness. I screamed and covered my headinstinctively. When I realised that someone may see me acting likethis, I tried to act normal, but I was crying and sometimes could notkeep my arms from jerking up and covering my head. Being indoorshelps, if I am away from large windows.No, I am not a homophobe. My fear of rainbows has absolutely nothingto do with homosexuals using the rainbow as a symbol. In fact,cartoonish illustrations of rainbows do not trigger any reaction inme. Only real rainbows, or very realistic representations (i.e.photos) of rainbows will do it.The fear applies to northern lights (aurora borealis) too, for theyare like moving rainbows that glow in the dark. The brighter theauroral display and the faster they move, the more terrifying theyare. I had the misfortune of being outside during one of the mostviolent solar storms of recent decades, which caused a massive displayof northern lights overhead. I was walking all alone at night andsuddenly a spiral of ghostly green flames lit up the sky. I almostfell to the ground. I covered my head the same way I did when I sawthe sun halos, and unfortunately I had a long walk home under thisburning green vortex in the sky. I cannot find a word for the fear of rainbows, and I haven't heard ofanyone else who is afraid of them. But I would like to know what thisfear is called, and if anyone else is specifically afraid of rainbowsand/or aurora (borealis or australis).