Monday, December 8, 2008

Emily G

I'm afraid of rainbows. The larger and more vibrant they are, themore horrible in my opinion. Sometimes I scream when a rainbowcatches me off-guard, and once I know a rainbow is present, it is notenough simply to close my eyes. If I close my eyes, I cannot see therainbow... but it can see me. I know for a fact that rainbows causeno harm (I'm not stupid!) but when I know there is a rainbow on theloose, I must reluctantly keep tabs on it until I'm sure it's gone.(Like if a wasp flies into your room; you wouldn't turn your back onit, would you?) I don't like rainbows sneaking up on me, which alsomade it difficult to play in the sprinkler on a sunny day as a child.Even as a young teenager, I used to close my eyes in the shower forfear that light would strike the spray of water just right to create arainbow near me. A rainbow itself cannot hurt me, but my sudden panicmight cause me to slip in the tub. (I no longer shower with my eyesclosed because I grew up and realised that my household light bulbsdid not emit full-spectrum light. Though I am wary about visitingwaterfalls on sunny days.)In case you're wondering, I do in fact have nightmares about rainbows.I get goosebumps recalling details of these nightmares, but the basicpremise of most of my rainbow nightmares is that there is a rainbowwherever I turn. The scariest thing I've ever seen (for real, not adream) was a very rare and elaborate sun halo that most people wouldpay handsomely to witness. I screamed and covered my headinstinctively. When I realised that someone may see me acting likethis, I tried to act normal, but I was crying and sometimes could notkeep my arms from jerking up and covering my head. Being indoorshelps, if I am away from large windows.No, I am not a homophobe. My fear of rainbows has absolutely nothingto do with homosexuals using the rainbow as a symbol. In fact,cartoonish illustrations of rainbows do not trigger any reaction inme. Only real rainbows, or very realistic representations ( of rainbows will do it.The fear applies to northern lights (aurora borealis) too, for theyare like moving rainbows that glow in the dark. The brighter theauroral display and the faster they move, the more terrifying theyare. I had the misfortune of being outside during one of the mostviolent solar storms of recent decades, which caused a massive displayof northern lights overhead. I was walking all alone at night andsuddenly a spiral of ghostly green flames lit up the sky. I almostfell to the ground. I covered my head the same way I did when I sawthe sun halos, and unfortunately I had a long walk home under thisburning green vortex in the sky. I cannot find a word for the fear of rainbows, and I haven't heard ofanyone else who is afraid of them. But I would like to know what thisfear is called, and if anyone else is specifically afraid of rainbowsand/or aurora (borealis or australis).


puppettastic said...

Hi my name is Heather, I'm 15 years old. I was reading your blog on irrational fears and thought I might contribute. I am absolutely HORRIFIED of rainbows. The only reason I can explain why is that ever since I was in first grade, I've had dreams about rainbows, and I'd always be afraid of them. The first one I can remember having was when I was six and in the dream there was a rainbow in my yard and when I stepped on it, it rattled and changed colors, this terrified me for some reason. Ever since then, I've had all sorts of dreams of rainbows of all shapes and sizes, each one evoking pure terror. It's not as though I think they'll attack me as some people guess. Honestly, I'm not sure why. At first, I was just afraid of the "Dreambows" but then it turned into a spike of fear when I see one, to nervousness just at the sight at the colors of the rainbow on someone's shirt, such as tie dye. Then today, I realized just how afraid I am of rainbows. I was in the back seat of the car with my older sister and mom and it was raining. So I scan around nervously for a rainbow...and there wasn't one. So I relax....and then I glance over and there's this big, fat, bright rainbow...RIGHT THERE! I scream real loud and huddle into a ball and think it was over, like someones reaction to a spider. But no, I start to hyperventilate, and cry. Not even just a few tears, I mean full on sobbing. The crying that makes your head hurt really bad and make you want to throw up.

nicole said...

just letting you know that if you're as afraid of rainbows as you sound, DONT MOVE TO HAWAII. EVER. rainbows are omnipresent here. you cant go a week without seeing a rainbow. not to mention that rainbows are on EVERY hawaii license plate. AND on all the city buses. lol dont move to hawaii!!

Unknown said...

Hello Emily G.
Hope your having a good day. I came across your fear, am fascinated with your story and would love to learn more.

I represent a production company that is currently developing a program on people's fears. We would love to discuss more with you if you're available.

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Thank you!