Caleb Abel

I hate, hate, hate getting haircuts just because of the parts where they trim my sideburns and around my ears. I'm convinced every time I get it done, I'm one step closer to the time they finally mess up and either cut off part of my ear or gouge out one of my eyes. I have to close my eyes and try to control my breathing anytime they're around my face. Because of this, I only get haircuts like three or four times per year, have them cut it really short, and stay the hell away for as long as I can. I also have this completely unexplainable fear of walking on sidewalks in the same direction that the cars in the lane closest to me are going. Every time a car passes I envision myself accidentally stumbling in front of it somehow as it rolls up the back of my ankle, destroying my achilles tendon - not killing me or breaking my entire leg; JUST obliterating my ankle. No idea why. If I have to walk on a sidewalk, I'll stay as far away from the road as I possibly can to ensure that even if I stumble, this won't happen.