Sunday, December 7, 2008

Grant

1) I am absofuckinglutely TERRIFIED that snakes will come falling out of my shower head as i shower while i can do nothing but cry and sob. I am also terrified that a snake will pop out of my toliet when i flush it so only flush with the lid down, sometimes sitting on it. If i have to go in a public restroom i stand near the unlocked door and flush with my foot, prepared to flee screeching if i hear so much as a hiss. More than once i've been caught by co-workers thinking that i'm being raped when in actually nothing happened.
2) i am scared i'm secretly allergic to something but i don't know what it is so when i try something new at a resturant or at a friends house i always dial the 9 and 1 on my phone first and be sure to get the address from my friends.

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