Sunday, December 7, 2008

Jane Skinner

I have a fear of things that are infinite, or things that border on the infinite (although I know that "bordering on infinite" is a contradiction in terms, so be quiet). If I had to guess why I feel this way, it's probably because I was brought up in a fairly religious climate, and I heard too many stories about Hell and eternal damnation and spending all of said eternity roasting in a pit of sulfur. But frankly, the idea of an eternal Heaven is only slightly less scary to me. Wouldn't I get bored? Won't I get hungry? Will there be food and magazines there? I just can't handle it. I like my realities finite and graspable.

I have several fears that stem from this: 1. fear of giant land masses, especially the ocean. And secondly, and most importantly, fear of SPACE. Oh my God. I'm so scared of outer space and everything that has to do with outer space. You know that question about, would you rather spend a week in Paris, or 10 minutes on the moon? I would choose Paris. In fact, if someone offered me a trip to the moon or just staying home, I would pick just staying at home. In fact, if someone MADE me go into space, I would pay them the monetary equivalent of a week in Paris in order to not go. That's right: I would bribe someone to not make me go into space. There are aliens there, and also no air, and also it fucking goes on forever.

2 comments:

Cool Tapes said...

Amen to all that. As a kid in Catholic school, I used to ponder eternity and actually get dizzy from it, and I would get a feeling in my stomach like the floor just dropped out from under me. Nowadays I just avoid thinking about infinity.

Toby said...

Those are the coolest fears ever, I liked reading that.
Wow, if only u knew how many atoms your body is comprised of.