Ulysses Rex

This only happens when I lie awake in bed at night, but sometimes I begin paying attention to my heart. Like, really close attention. The fear begins with my noticing its beating. Then I ask the inevitable question: why does it keep beating on its own like that? Why don't I have control over it? Then, suddenly, the fear comes: what if I suddenly gained control over my own heart? I start imagining that I am in fact influencing its timing by just concentrating on it. Then I try not to concentrate on it. This happens every single night.

Oh, and I fear my own poop.


Note from Lounsey: I think this e-mail is amazing. A lot of it has to do with how well the fear was described...but mostly it was the last bit, just slipped in in 1 sentance at the end!