Sunday, December 7, 2008

Suzy Philippot

I just visited your blog articles, and after reading through the lists of things that make people's skin crawl, I thought I would divulge to you my irrational fear. And it is whales, and porpoises of all kind. I haven't frequently encountered them in my life, beyond a few trips to an aquarium when I was younger, but the mere thought of Flipper or Shamu crossing my path makes me physically cringe, grimace, and shudder in all forms of company. I've even come up with a list with my Top Four most Fearful Oceanic Mammals:
4. The Humpback- they have those teeth things they have for eating krill... and they're like giant aliens that could be floating under your boat at any moment...
3. The Narwhal- they have horns. Sometimes two, that twirl in the same direction, like an industrially regularized, enviromentally threatened species of absolute horror.
2. Belugas- is that an over sized, floating infant, laughing with the glee of innocent youth? NO. It's smiling at me because it knows my secrets, and wonders what I taste like.
1. Freshwater River Dolphins- they may be extinct. At the least, very, very, endangered. But also, very, very terrifying. You thought you were safe from porpoises by taking a dip in freshwater? THINK AGAIN. And what the HELL is up with their long and probing snouts?? Exhibit A: Exhibit B (ready to serrate you to death):

1 comment:

Toby said...

Wow that river dolphin really is scary.